托福寫(xiě)作高分妙招
作文考試的目的在于通過(guò)這一命題形式，檢測(cè)考生的語(yǔ)言功底。TOEFL作文考試也不例外，它歸根結(jié)底仍是一種語(yǔ)言水平考試，運(yùn)用英語(yǔ)進(jìn)行書(shū)面表達(dá)的能力是測(cè)試的終極目的。
英文寫(xiě)作反映考生綜合運(yùn)用英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)言的能力，只有在宏觀和微觀兩個(gè)方面都把握得當(dāng)才能構(gòu)成一篇完美的TOEFL作文。這里的宏觀是就一篇文章的框架結(jié)構(gòu)而言的，而微觀是指一篇文章的語(yǔ)篇要素，即文章中表達(dá)意義的微觀單位，包括單詞、短語(yǔ)和句子。語(yǔ)篇要素運(yùn)用的純熟，能很好地反映一個(gè)人的語(yǔ)言修養(yǎng)，準(zhǔn)確的用詞、多樣化的句式結(jié)構(gòu)以及精妙得體的修辭會(huì)使整篇文章熠熠生輝，極富感染力。
TOEFL作文考試作為一種語(yǔ)言測(cè)試方式，其重點(diǎn)在于考查考生的英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)言水平，對(duì)語(yǔ)篇要素的把握在寫(xiě)作TOEFL作文的過(guò)程當(dāng)中無(wú)疑是至關(guān)重要的。熟練恰當(dāng)?shù)剡\(yùn)用語(yǔ)篇要素會(huì)令你的作文妙筆生花，卓爾不群。
(一)語(yǔ)詞的選擇
寫(xiě)作中用詞不準(zhǔn)確是很容易犯的毛病，good，terrible，see，nice，kind，greatly，think，know，something等詞匯在學(xué)生作文中反復(fù)出現(xiàn)。這些詞本身并沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，是英語(yǔ)常用詞，但是它們表達(dá)的意思過(guò)于模糊，很多情況下，應(yīng)該使用意義更加準(zhǔn)確的詞。況且，學(xué)生老是使用這幾個(gè)詞會(huì)給人以表達(dá)形式單調(diào)，詞匯量貧乏，文章缺乏感染力的印象。下面的一些例子，通過(guò)換用一、兩個(gè)準(zhǔn)確生動(dòng)的詞語(yǔ)或是運(yùn)用一些固定搭配及習(xí)語(yǔ)就使整個(gè)句子增色不少。
1.Original: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and help you to understand other peoples feelings and learn to be kind.
Revised: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience and help you to understand other peoples feelings and learn to be considerate.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
add，kind表達(dá)的含義都比較寬泛。add可以指數(shù)量上的增加，也可以指程度的加強(qiáng)，對(duì)于豐富經(jīng)驗(yàn)、增加知識(shí)這個(gè)意思，用enrich會(huì)使表達(dá)更準(zhǔn)確。kind從字面意義上講是好的、善良的，用kind來(lái)形容人無(wú)法具體地表現(xiàn)出一個(gè)人的性格特征到底怎樣，原句中是想表達(dá)考慮周到、體貼入微的特點(diǎn)，要準(zhǔn)確表達(dá)這個(gè)含義應(yīng)選擇considerate。
2.Original: Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society is changing very rapidly.
Revised: Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as a result, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
greatly，rapidly屬于常用詞，表示程度高、速度快，這樣的詞在表達(dá)效果上不夠具體，缺乏說(shuō)服力，在修改后的句子中用了pervade every aspect of our lives就具體生動(dòng)地表現(xiàn)出科技的影響力到底有多大，其影響力已滲透到我們生活的方方面面，at a speed which is quite unprecedented意為以一種前所未有的速度，形象地道出了變化速度之快。
3.Original: Young people tend to think that real life is as nice and interesting as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one should learn to get used to common everyday life.
Revised: Young people tend to think that real life is as dramatic and fascinating as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one should learn to get used to tedious everyday life.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
nice，interesting，common都屬于普通詞匯，用到句子中也顯得平淡蒼白。nice的意思是好的，令人愉快的，interesting是有趣的，這兩個(gè)詞都不能準(zhǔn)確地描繪出年輕人所憧憬的美好生活，句中想表達(dá)的是年輕人認(rèn)為生活如同小說(shuō)、電影一般充滿戲劇變化，激動(dòng)人心，要體現(xiàn)這層含義應(yīng)該用dramatic，fascinating。dramatic表示刺激的，戲劇性的，給人深刻印象的，fascinating表示具有強(qiáng)烈吸引力的，迷人的，使人神魂顛倒的，這兩個(gè)詞的程度要比nice，interesting深得多，表現(xiàn)力也更強(qiáng)。原句用common表達(dá)實(shí)際的現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的枯燥無(wú)味是不準(zhǔn)確的，common的意思是普通的，平常的，普通平常的東西不一定是枯燥的，tedious是表示(因過(guò)長(zhǎng)、過(guò)慢或單調(diào))令人厭倦的，煩人的，恰好傳達(dá)出現(xiàn)實(shí)生活由于瑣碎和重復(fù)而變得索然無(wú)味這種含義。
4.Original: You should compete to live in this society.
Revised: You should compete for survival; otherwise, you will be thrown out of the tide of society.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
原句平平淡淡，只是告訴人們要在社會(huì)立足，必須競(jìng)爭(zhēng)，但這樣一句簡(jiǎn)單的勸告似乎缺乏說(shuō)服力，修改后的句子用了compete for survival，為了生存而競(jìng)爭(zhēng)，而且后面又添加了一個(gè)并列分句，補(bǔ)充說(shuō)明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide of society，被社會(huì)的浪潮所淘汰，使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動(dòng)地表現(xiàn)出競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的慘烈。
5.Original: I really believe that smoking is harmful to peoples health.
Revised: I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to peoples health.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
conviction的意思是堅(jiān)定的看法或信仰，have a profound conclusion表示對(duì)某種看法深信不疑，作文中提出觀點(diǎn)的句子用have a profound conclusion會(huì)比用believe態(tài)度更堅(jiān)決，立場(chǎng)更鮮明，而且believe這個(gè)詞非常簡(jiǎn)單，是英語(yǔ)初學(xué)者就應(yīng)掌握的詞匯，換成have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的復(fù)雜程度，體現(xiàn)了較強(qiáng)的.語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用能力。類似的提出觀點(diǎn)的表達(dá)還有：
I hold a point of view that
I hold the opinion that
6.Original: We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
Revised: It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
如上句的believe一樣，know也是非常初級(jí)的詞匯，作文中出現(xiàn)I believe that，I know that這樣的表達(dá)只能體現(xiàn)考生寫(xiě)作技巧的稚嫩，用It does not surprise us to discover that替換We know that并沒(méi)有改變?cè)涞暮x，卻使全句頓時(shí)增添了亮點(diǎn)。
7.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
Revised: It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
同上例一樣，know這樣的初級(jí)詞匯應(yīng)避免在作文中使用，It goes without saying that是一個(gè)固定結(jié)構(gòu)，意思是是不言而喻的，常在作文中用來(lái)引經(jīng)據(jù)典或表明一個(gè)盡人皆知的道理，類似的表達(dá)還有：
An old saying goes that
Proverb goes that
It is universally acknowledged that
It is generally accepted that
8.Original: Some other people think that people should read extensively.
Revised: Another position says that people should read extensively.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
同know，believe一樣，think也應(yīng)該盡量避免使用，修改后的句子中是用Another position says that代替think提出另一種觀點(diǎn)，也可以用hold a point of view，hold the opinion這樣的短語(yǔ)替換。
9.Original: The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
Revised: The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
give也屬于英語(yǔ)中最初級(jí)、最基本的詞匯，只表示給，給予這個(gè)動(dòng)作，不涉及動(dòng)作的性質(zhì)和狀態(tài)，若表示增添信心，增強(qiáng)士氣，比較地道的說(shuō)法是用boost confidence/morale，如：The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改變使整個(gè)公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。
10.Original: The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
Revised: The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
亮點(diǎn)評(píng)析
greatly是一般用語(yǔ)，表示程度高，很，非常，使用相當(dāng)普遍而沒(méi)有新意，在寫(xiě)作中應(yīng)盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯，應(yīng)換用一些更加正式，更有說(shuō)服力的詞語(yǔ)，例如significantly表示達(dá)到了非常重要的或可觀的程度，重大的，可觀的，能夠具體說(shuō)明藥品使用方面，增長(zhǎng)幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably，tremendously等，同樣具有不錯(cuò)的表達(dá)效果。
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