英語笑話：那個仆人真聰明
The Clever Servant
Long time ago, there was a rich old man who loved wine and good food over everything else. And he had a servant who loved drinking and eating as much as his master did. Each time the rich old man went out, he helped himself to the bottles of wine and all the nice food. Of course, the rich man knew who did it and was displeased. But he could do nothing about it because he had never caught his servant drinking his wine and eating his food.
One day the old man was invited to dinner at the home of one of his friends. He did not know what to do with the wine, meat and chicken he had just bought. Certainly he could not leave them to the servant. In the end he had an idea. He called up the servant and said to him: "I'll be away for the whole evening, and I'll leave you to look after house. In the cupboard there are two bottles filled with poison. Be careful about it. You'll be killed if you take even a drop of it, there is also some meat and chicken in the cupboard. Take care of them." With these words the rich man left home.
As soon as the master turned his back, the servant opened the cupboard and began to enjoy all the nice things in it. He emptied two bottles and ate up the meat, the chicken and everything else found in the cupboard. He was satisfied and soon fell asleep.
At midnight the rich old man returned home. He looked into the cupboard and, to his great surprised, all his wine and food were gone. He was mad with anger and called the servant up.
"Oh, Master," the servant began before the old man could open his mouth. "While you were away, the neighbor's lack cat stole into our kitchen and ate up everything in the cupboard. I knew you would be very angry with me. I was so afraid that I drank the two bottles of poison to kill myself." There were even tears in the servant's eyes. "Oh, Master," he continued, "Please don't get angry with a dying man. I'll soon be dead."
The rich old man, of course, did not believe a word of his story. But again, he could do nothing about it.
聰明的仆人
很久以前，有個富人貪酒好食，勝過于其它一切。他有一個仆人，也和主人一樣好吃好喝。每當富人外出時，他只好把酒和食物藏起來。可是每次這個仆人都能找到它們并擅自把好酒好菜全部偷吃偷喝了。富人當然知道是誰干的，所以，很不高興。但是，因為他從來沒有抓住過他仆人偷吃偷喝的把柄，所以他對此也不好怎么辦。
一天，富人被邀到他朋友家赴宴。他不知道怎么處理剛剛買回來的酒、肉、雞等。當然，他也不能把它們留給他的仆人，于是他想出了一個主意。他把仆人叫來對他說：
"我今天整晚不在家，留下你好好看家。在食櫥里有兩瓶裝滿了毒藥的酒，小心點別碰它。你沾上一滴就會要你的命的。在食櫥里還有一些肉和雞，也要注意有毒。"說完這個富人就走了。
主人一轉身出門，仆人就打開食櫥開始享用里面的美味佳肴。他喝光了兩瓶酒，吃光了肉、雞、和所有能在食櫥里找到的'東西。吃飽喝足之后，他就開始睡著了。
半夜，富人回家來了。他朝食櫥里一看，大為驚訝，他的酒、食物全沒了。他氣急了，就把仆人叫起來。
"喔，主人，"富人還沒有來得及開口，仆人就開始說了，"你不在家時，鄰居的黑貓溜進了我們的櫥房，吃光了食櫥里所有的東西。我知道你會很生我的氣。所以我非常害怕，就喝了兩瓶毒藥自殺。"仆人的眼睛里甚至還噙著眼淚。"喔，主人，" 他繼續說道，"請不要對一個快要死的人發火了。我就要死了。"
富人當然不相信他的假話的一個字，但是，他對此還是毫無辦法。
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