最新搞笑英語笑話

時間：2020-11-04 18:20:31 英語笑話我要投稿

　　最新搞笑英語笑話(一)

　　Count to one Hundred Before You Speak

　　In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100."

　　No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count.

　　at last all the students shouted together,"1...98,99,100.teacher,your clothes are on fire."

　　數(shù)到一百再說

　　課堂上，老師背靠火爐站著，對學(xué)生們說：“說話前要三思，起碼數(shù)到50，重要的事情要數(shù)到一百。”

　　老師的話音剛落，學(xué)生立刻從“1”開始數(shù)起來。最后一起喊：“98，99，100!老師，您的衣服著火了。”

　　最新搞笑英語笑話(二)

　　難以琢磨的女人

　　If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman 吻她吧，不夠君子

　　If you don't, you are not a man 不吻吧，不象漢子

　　If you praise her, she thinks you are lying 夸她吧，說你欺騙

　　If you don't, you are good for nothing 不夸吧，說你笨蛋

　　If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing 順她吧，說你氣管炎

　　If you don't, you are not understanding 不順吧，不善解人

　　If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' 太浪漫，疑你老練

　　If you don't you are half a man 太規(guī)矩，魅力不足

　　If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring 常看她，招她厭煩

　　If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing 少去點，怨你獵艷

　　If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy 穿得好，說你花心

　　If you don't, you are a dull boy 邋遢些，缺個心眼

　　If you are jealous, she says it's bad 吃醋吧，你太狹隘

　　最新搞笑英語笑話(三)

　　Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it.

　　My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing.

　　Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply.

　　That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.

　　噪音的.優(yōu)點

　　每當我駕駛我那輛舊車時速超過55英里時，它就劇烈地震動起來，所以我決定賣掉它。

　　我的第一位買主想買這輛車。圍繞是否告訴他這輛車的問題，我經(jīng)歷了一番與良心的較量。終于我做對了。

　　我想他會放棄這個交易，卻對他的回答吃了一驚。

　　那沒什么，他說，我是給我女兒買這車的。如果她抱怨震動的話，那我就知道她開得太快了。

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