學英語幽默笑話

時間：2020-09-10 18:54:54 英語笑話我要投稿

學英語幽默笑話

　　幽默的人不僅僅會說笑話，還要懂得他人說的笑話，來測試一下你的幽默細胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!

學英語幽默笑話

　　學英語幽默笑話(一)

　　心不在焉的老師

　　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”

　　有一天，人們看見一個有名的`心不在焉的老師在路上走，他的一只腳一直踏在街溝里，另一只腳踩在人行道上。一個碰見他的學生說： “晚安，老師。您怎么了?” “啊，”這位老師回答說：“我想我離開家的時候還挺好的，可是現(xiàn)在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已經(jīng)一瘸一拐走了半個小時了。”

　　學英語幽默笑話(二)

　　他的錯

　　It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be good.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”

　　比利和波比都是小男孩。他們是兄弟，兩人經(jīng)常打架。上個星期六，他們的媽媽對他們說：“我現(xiàn)在要做午飯了。去，到花園去玩吧，別淘氣。” “是，媽媽，”兩個男孩回答，然后他們就出去了。他們在花園里玩了半個小時，然后比利跑進了廚房。“媽媽，”他說：“波比打碎了艾倫太太家的窗玻璃。”艾倫太太是他們的鄰居。 “他是個壞孩子，”他的媽媽說。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的?” “我朝他扔了一塊石子，”比利回答：“他趕緊蹲下。”

　　學英語幽默笑話(三)

　　誰的兒子最偉大

　　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."　　The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."

　　"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.

　　" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

　　四位牧師的母親聚到一起談論她們的兒子。“我的兒子是個教士，”第一位母親自豪地說道，“他進入房間，人們都說，‘您好，閣下’。”

　　第二為母親說：“我的兒子是位主教。他進入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。” “我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接著說，“他走進房間，人們都說，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

　　第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說，“他要是走入房間，人們都說‘哦，我的上帝’!”

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