英語經典笑話爆笑

時間：2020-09-02 14:47:32 英語笑話我要投稿

英語經典笑話大全爆笑

　　1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

英語經典笑話大全爆笑

　　一天，有一個城市里的游客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農莊是什么樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城里人看見一位農夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城里人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什么意義?"

　　2.The Looney Bin

　　Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"

　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

　　瘋人院

　　一天晚上，在瘋人院里，一個病人說：“我是拿破侖!”

　　另一個說：“你怎么知道?”

　　第一個人說：“上帝對我說的.!”

　　一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來：“我沒說!”

　　3.Boxing and Running

　　Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

　　拳擊和賽跑

　　丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。”

　　朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎么辦?”

　　丹：“我也會教他怎么樣賽跑呢。”

　　4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates

　　because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

　　So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

　　George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

　　典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢周末的探訪日，大多數囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

　　因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?”

　　喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們全都在這里面!”

　　5.A shoplifter(商店扒手)51kxh.cn |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the

　　shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

　　The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook(騙子，壞蛋) looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

　　一個小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時候被當場擒獲。“聽著，”小偷說，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當什么也沒發生，你看怎樣?”

　　經理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預算稍稍高了一點，你們還有沒有便宜一點兒東西。

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