詼諧有趣的英語笑話
怕老婆的丈夫
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. “It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.” “Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”
古代有一個國王，他想證明他領(lǐng)土內(nèi)的男人并非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴(yán)厲的懲罰。然后，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的.左側(cè)。所有的男人都站到了左側(cè)，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側(cè)。國王說：“看到我們國家里還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當(dāng)中只有你一個人站在大廳的右側(cè)。” “陛下，”那人尖聲地回答：“因為在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。”
睡前禱告詞
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”
媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”
朱莉葉回答說：“因為我在地理考卷上是這么寫的。”
幾月走的
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"
杰克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。于是便有好心的人教他說，“下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心里數(shù)：正月、二月、……一直數(shù)到十二月為止，然后再直起身來。這樣，禮節(jié)就周全了。”
第二天，杰克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。杰克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：“我叔叔幾月走的?”
the important of a second language
A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.
Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."
一天，一只貓媽媽領(lǐng)著4只小貓在路上走，卻遇到了一只大狗。小貓們嚇的蜷縮成了一團(tuán)，這時貓媽媽吼出了一連串的汪汪聲，大狗被嚇跑了。貓媽媽轉(zhuǎn)過身來對幾個小貓說，“孩子們，看看掌握一門外語是多么的重要呀!”
Easy or Not
Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple "Good morning".
"Good morning," she replied cheerfully. "I'm going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It's so easy!"
一位婦女把車沿著我們銀行的驅(qū)車直達(dá)窗口開過來，可她并不滿意于她停的位置。因此她倒車，靠得更近點。還是不滿意，倒車，再來。五次努力后，終于她把車停下來，搖下車窗。我簡單地問候她一聲“早上好”。
“早上好，”她愉快地回答說，“以后我都要使用這種驅(qū)車直達(dá)窗口。真是如此的方便。”
假如我是一個經(jīng)理
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.I am waiting for my secretary, was the boy’s answer.
一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以如果我是一個經(jīng)理為題寫一篇作文。所有的學(xué)生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。我在等我的秘書。那孩子答道。
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